Maricopa County Mugshots of the Week: One Minor Detail

At the end of the week, we bring you a roundup of visitors to the desert’s own Fourth Avenue Jail. To be considered for our Maricopa County mugshots of the week, get arrested, strike a pose, and we’ll take care of the rest.

This week, we observe one minor detail of each of our alleged offenders. Enjoy.

13.)

Charges: Sexual abuse
Dear diary. . .

12.)

Charges: Marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia
Have you ever seen a man look like he might just drop dead if he doesn’t get a bag of Cheetos in the next five minutes?

11.)

Charges: Probation violation
Here’s a guy in Phoenix who looks like he’s spent the last week in the elements of a Russian winter.

10.)

Charges: Failure to pay a fine
Just a minor demon.

9.)

Charges: Possession of a weapon by a prohibited person
The only combat this guy looks like he’s been in is Mortal Kombat on Sega Genesis.

8.)

Charges: Fraudulent schemes, illegal control of enterprise, computer tampering, forgery
My precious. . .

7.)

Charges: Driving on a suspended license, failure to appear
♫Fa la la la la, la la la la♫

6.)

Charges: Dangerous-drug possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, shoplifting
That’s not even close.

5.)

Charges: Aggravated assault
This guy’s hair kind of looks like a puzzle that he really couldn’t figure out how to put together.

4.)

Charges: Marijuana possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, DUI
For some reason, we’re getting a vibe that this guy ate glue for the better half of his elementary school years.

3.)

Charges: Shoplifting
Five minutes ago:
A: Hey man, want to go see the donkey show?
B: Uh, sure, what’s that?
A: You’ll see

2.)

Charges: Possession of a weapon by a prohibited person, driving on a suspended license
There’s a conversation starter.
Phoenix, huh? Me too. So . . .

1.)

Charges: Criminal trespassing
That’s the classic look of a man who just saw a penis he didn’t want to see.