The Secret Life of Bees Is All Honey, No Sting

A young woman fights off her brutal husband; a gun goes off; a marble spins on the floor where a toddler sits unattended. From B-movie beginnings, The Secret Life of Bees, a family drama set in the civil rights-era South, chugs along pleasantly like a television special tailored for the…

Keira Knightley Royally Screws Up The Duchess

The Duchess is the best women’s movie of the past few months. Don’t get too excited: Sex and the City, Mamma Mia!, and The Women set the bar so dismally low that almost any film with a dame in it who doesn’t channel her identity only through buying, boogieing, and/or…

Blindness Adaptation Nails the Bleak Before Succumbing to the Sap

The most recent example of bleak chic, Fernando Meirelles’ mostly harrowing adaptation of José Saramago’s international bestseller Blindness mixes the high-velocity pace and stylishness of the Brazilian director’s breakout City of God with the Portuguese author’s thinly metaphysical horror thriller. Unflinching at best and treacly at worst, the film unveils…

Ed Harris Goes Traditional with Appaloosa

“Course he’s willing to die. You think we do this kinda work ’cause we scared to die?” So speaks Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) about his sidekick Everett Hitch (Viggo Mortensen), as the two stare down a posse of bad guys in Appaloosa, New Mexico, circa 1882. Cole and Hitch, who…

Miracle at St. Anna: Spike Lee’s WWII Drama Is an Epic Bore

On some level, you’ve got to hand it to Spike Lee. There are probably less than a handful of directors working in Hollywood today who could put together the financing for a three-hour war movie lacking any marquee names and performed largely in Italian and German with English subtitles. Spielberg…

Chuck Palahnluk’s Choke Adaptation Needs the Heimlich

There’s a whole lotta fucking going on in Choke, Clark Gregg’s adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk’s first-person novel about a sex addict named Victor Mancini with severe Mommy issues — fucking in a cramped airplane bathroom, on a barnyard’s itchy haystack, in a grimy toilet stall, in a hospital chapel even…

Ricky Gervais sees dead people in Ghost Town

It takes a good while for Ricky Gervais to warm up in Ghost Town; it takes even longer for the audience to warm to Ricky Gervais. During the opening minutes of Ghost Town — an occasionally effective mash-up of Ghost, The Sixth Sense, and The Frighteners — Gervais, as Bertram…

Burn After Reading: the latest Coen brothers mockery

Masters of the carefully crafted cheap shot, Joel and Ethan Coen have built a career on flippancy. Given their refusal to take anything seriously — least of all the enthusiasm of their fans — the brothers surely got a chuckle from an upcoming academic tome, The Philosophy of the Coen…

Opposites attract in Chris & Don: A Love Story

A glint in his eye and a grin on his lips, artist Don Bachardy looks into the camera and explains the dynamic of his three-decade relationship with the late literary icon Christopher Isherwood as if it were a fairy tale. “His role,” says Bachardy, “could be described as that of…

Hamlet 2 is tragically not half as funny as it thinks it is

In its final 10 minutes, Hamlet 2 is little more than chaos, noise, and nonsense, and those are 10 perfectly enjoyable minutes. It’s hard to knock any sequence that climaxes with a musical number titled “Rock Me, Sexy Jesus,” done up nice and Grease-y. Problem is, the 80 or so…