Normally, I’m a pretty boring motherfucker when it comes to New Year’s celebrations. Having an extreme aversion to the sort of massive crowds that congregate at Tempe’s Fiesta Bowl Block Party and Scottsdale’s stepsister copycat event, I usually like to park myself in front of CNN and watch the hourly…
If your idea of a fun New Year’s Eve consists of sitting at home in front of the TV and doing shots of Tequila Rose while watching the ball drop in Times Square, consider this: Those poor East Coast bastards are freezing their buns off, and there are plenty of…
The parade of real-life figures strolling into the googolplex has been endless this year: Look, there’s Jamie Foxx as musical Mount Rushmore Ray Charles, Johnny Depp as Peter Pan author J.M. Barrie, Kevin Spacey as forgotten teeny-popper Bobby Darin, Liam Neeson as sexologist Alfred Kinsey, Kevin Kline as standards composer…
THU 12/23 What better way to get in the holiday spirit than to bang your noggin with a bunch of heavy-metal maniacs? You already may have missed out on the 12 Bands of Christmas show and the Merry Fucking Xmas Bash earlier this month at the Clubhouse in Tempe, but…
He sees you when you’re sleeping; he knows when you’re awake. And if that doesn’t completely freak you out, how about this: He spends all his time with elves, has access to an army of men who look exactly like him, and he can bend time and space to suit…
By all accounts, the only living creatures who’ve never taken in a stage production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera are Osama bin Laden and Uncle Elmer’s deaf hound dog Bart — which means that everyone else on the planet has an opinion about how Joel Schumacher’s…
When your movie gets riotous laughter out of endless utterances of the word “Focker,” it doesn’t have to try very hard. So it’s no surprise that much of Meet the Fockers, the inevitable sequel to the 2000 hit Meet the Parents, barely breaks a sweat. When in doubt, after all,…
The critic who takes notes during The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou will ultimately fill a notepad only with scribbled details: “All the crewmen wear red stocking caps with their tuxedos,” “some names of Zissou’s movies: The Battling Eels of Antibes, Shadow Creatures of the Lurisia Archipelago, Island Cats!,” “one…
What is “Sussudio”? Is it: (a) the title of a Phil Collins song; (b) the title of an Ol’ Dirty Bastard song; (c) the title of a philosophical pop culture performance-art exhibition; or (d) all of the above? The correct answer is (d). Collins first used the word in his…
Chris Bailey’s suffering a double whammy this holiday season. Not only is he spending it in the Iraqi desert, but he’s missing one hell of a party (in his honor, no less) this week at Suede nightclub in Scottsdale. Yeah, we know Bailey’s got more pressing issues to deal with:…
12/31 Appearances often are deceiving. You’d probably expect a public performance of Aesop’s fables to be some infantile feel-good production aimed solely at children. Just like the sheep that mistook the wolf as one of their flock, you’d be dead wrong. Gerry Cullity and Adele Dodds, two members of the…
TUE 12/28 These Beavers are anything but sloppy. Sure, Oregon State started the 2004 season by posting a dismal 1-4 record (including getting walloped 49-7 by Cal-Berkeley in October), but head coach Mike Riley turned the team’s fortunes around, and OSU won five of the next six and clinched a…
12/24-12/25 Can’t afford a plane ticket to go home for the holidays? Don’t end up alone in your crummy apartment with a lukewarm TV dinner when you can surround yourself with a flock of female impersonators at Pookie’s Cafe, 4540 North Seventh Street, where drag queens perform their usual Vegas-style…
Okay. Let’s say that Jesus Christ is real, and that he was born to a virgin mother and is the son of an all-powerful but invisible being who offered up his only offspring in payment for our sins. Does this guy — this savior, this product of an immaculate conception…
THU 16 Seems everyone from Dumperfoo’s Blunt Club in Tempe to Mickey’s Hangover in Scottsdale finally might have some central Phoenix competition in appealing to the laid-back set of Valley nightlife, thanks to the 16th Street Sports Bar and Grill, 6522 North 16th Street. The Grill’s weekly 16 Spot, which…
Quick, who’s got the best selection of local music in the Valley? Zia? Hardly. Eastside Records? Possibly. Leslie Barton? Definitely. With hundreds of CDs bursting from two gigantic Caselogic CD wallets, it’s an understatement that the 35-year-old promoter of Modified Arts is plugged in to the local music scene. She’s…
FRI 12/17 Those missing the fast-paced, hard-hitting action of hockey courtesy of the NHL lockout may find a willing antidote this winter within the Phoenix Coyotes’ own Glendale Arena. Since landing in the Valley a year ago, professional lacrosse has struck a chord with a small but dedicated group of…
THU 12/16 Snow? Tony “Scarface” Montaña would bury his face in it, but we’re not talking about blow. Sonik magazine’s “Snow” party on Thursday, December 16, at Devil’s Martini, 4175 North Goldwater Boulevard in Scottsdale, boasts two tons of real snow — the natural, non-homicidal-episode-inducing kind. The party includes six…
Last Wednesday, while Phoenix City Council members considered an ordinance that would allow police to evict transients from city parks, Kurt Brewer was relaxing at home. While lawmakers debated whether people with no fixed address should be allowed to hang out in the park, Brewer kicked off his shoes and…
It’s been a very long time since I’ve reviewed Actors Theatre’s annual production of A Christmas Carol. I see it every year, but I haven’t troubled anyone outside of my home with an opinion about it for quite a while. I must have written something when, a half-dozen years or…
This much can be said for the movie version of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events: Its villain, Count Olaf, just might be Jim Carrey’s finest screen role. A bitter, would-be master thespian who delights in donning ridiculous disguises and adopting funny accents, he doesn’t seem that far removed…
In Spanglish, which is less a story than a snapshot of a crumbling marriage populated by sitcom characters, Adam Sandler plays John Clasky, an average man with an above-average life. With his burgeoning double chin always covered in a slight shadow of stubble, he’s a celebrated chef who runs his…
