Y’all are gonna think I’m crazier than Houston plucking his eyeball out in that London hotel room, but I’m here to spit the truth like Twista, Jesus, Buddha and Kanye West, and that truth is: Most strip clubs bite big, hairy camel balls. Now, no one loves lookin’ at nekkid…
Mediate This Maybe they can smell the despair: How do men like Gary Karpin keep happening in Arizona (“Dr. Buzzard,” Paul Rubin, January 27)? It seems like this kind of con man is a rampant problem in this state, particularly in the Valley of the Sun. Thanks to Paul Rubin…
Yeah, he won still another term in the November general election, but there’s reason for hope that Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s days in office may be numbered. This just in: A recall committee that includes several prominent defense attorneys and the founders of the political action group Mothers Against…
A Rubinesque Story A fool and his money . . . : Another killer story, this time on divorce mediator Gary Karpin, by Paul Rubin (“Dr. Buzzard,” January 27). Without Rubin here in Phoenix, we would never find out about the charlatans in our midst. What amazes me, though, is…
“No foolin’, he got Jay-Z?” Jarrett Maupin II is hollering into his cell phone, pacing the hallway of the downtown office suite where the St. Mary’s senior spends most of his time after school. “Lord have mercy! That Rev is something else!” It’s the day before Maupin’s big trip to…
It’s not often that I come across a courageous state bureaucrat who’s willing to risk everything to expose high-level corruption. That is, to do the right thing. This is the tale of one such employee who was rewarded for her valor by being fired from her post as executive director…
Holding Court Witness for the defense: The New Times article on “Katie & Jordy’s Excellent Adventure” was rollicking good fun (Sarah Fenske, January 13)! I can’t remember when I’ve enjoyed a story more. I’ve been an avid Court TV watcher pretty much since the O.J. Simpson trial, and I greatly…
Two women hug like long-lost sisters beneath a gazebo at north Phoenix’s Roadrunner Park. Gina Niedzwiecki and Ruth Murray had been chatting by phone for months, since they’d learned of their sadly similar stories. But this sunny day in mid-January marks the first time they’ve met in person, and their…
I reckon my cheeks are redder than Elmo’s ass, the cheeks closest to my grill-piece, that is. It’s a Saturday night at Tempe’s colossal, 28,000-square-foot Graham Central Station (www.grahamcentralstationtempe.com), the four-in-one nightclub that includes the karaoke bar Alley Cats, a Top 40 dance hall called South Beach, an ’80s room…
I nearly fell off my bike on a recent cold night when I saw the agent listed on a for-sale sign in front of one of the most historic homes in Arizona — the Farmer-Goodwin mansion in Tempe. My stomach tightened, and I slowly began circling on my bike in…
For the Phoenix Family Museum, there is no bigger event than the annual “Family Affair” gala. Last February, the gala raised almost a quarter of a million dollars. With a “Chinese New Year” theme for the February 5 festivities — complete with a magical dragon — the fledging museum hopes…
One of the most popular cats on the FM dial locally is Power 92.3’s JX3, who keeps things fresh and fantabulous weeknights from 7 to 10 p.m. on the Valley’s No. 1 hip-hop station. That is, there’s always something different going down on his show, whether it’s Suns stud Amaré…
Sounds of Silence Supporting the scene: Here’s a summary of the article titled “Last Dance” (Brendan Joel Kelley, January 6): A musical guy with a day job hasn’t gotten a record deal. Boo-f*cking-hoo! Phoenix New Times thinks that’s somehow newsworthy? Shame on you! Living in Phoenix for those of us…
On the left sits Harry The Politician. On the right is Tony The Lobbyist. They’re talking on the telephone, swapping campaign contributions for corporate tax breaks. This is how government works in Arizona, intones the narrator in this 1998 television commercial, paid for by backers of an initiative that created…
Hip-Hop Brouhaha The proper use of the N-word: Great article on the hip-hop war in town (“‘Nigga,’ Please,” Joe Watson, December 23), but let me make a considerable point or two. Isn’t it funny when scumballs from that world collide? I used to be into the whole culture and its…
In the beginning, when Laci Peterson was just another missing person and Scott Peterson only a husband under suspicion, Kathy Monkman wanted nothing to do with the case. Didnt want to watch the endless coverage on cable TV; didnt want to chat about it online. Of all the court watchers…
The new year has done nothing to alter the idiotic behavior of too many of our local elected leaders. But before we descend into the abyss, how about this wonderful weather? Forget about all the negative adjectives used to describe the threatening storms pummeling the Valley. I’m rejoicing with every…
On the morning of January 6, veteran prosecutor Cindi Nannetti received two visitors in her fifth-floor offices at the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office. There, the longtime chief of the agency’s nationally respected sex-crimes unit learned from Phil MacDonnell and Sally Wells, top aides to new County Attorney Andrew Peyton Thomas,…
If Inferno were to begin accepting commercial endorsements, like NASCAR speed demons or them ho’s at the Olympics, Red Bull and vodka would be the official drink of this column. Though the switch-hittin’ Ciara of the PHX sometimes orders a vodka-tonic, the Kremester always asks for some Bull and hooch,…
N-Word Uproar We ain’t all bad: So I was getting ready to write a letter bashing your use of the N-word. I mean, I can’t believe you racist motherfuckers used that term in a headline, even if it was a quote from some low-life, half-white hip-hop artist and the term’s…
He speaks from the murky shadows of Booth #55, a man in navy pinstripes with a voice like gravel frying in brown butter. “You wanna know about Jack Durant? I’ve got stories you won’t believe.” His hands are neatly manicured; his tie expertly dimpled; there’s a felt hat on the…
A Politician’s Politician A standup guy: Paul Rubin’s story on Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley (“Balls in the Air,” December 16) was first-rate and fair. My assessment is that Romley, even though he’s a Republican, would make a far better governor than Janet Napolitano. I hope he runs against her,…
