Letters

The Devil and Michael Crow Undermining overachievers: Regarding “Quid Pro Crow” (Joe Watson, November 18), I’d like to personally tell Mr. Ira Fulton and Mr. Michael Crow to get fucked! I’m completely disgusted at Arizona State University. “Unconstitutional” is a word that comes to mind. Separation of church and state…

Hope I Die Before I Get Old

Stricken with dementia and unable to care for herself, Lucille Ayers died a horror-movie death. “My mother basically died staked to an ant pile,” her son James says. “She was eaten alive.” Before her health declined, Ayers, a devout Catholic, opened her home to visiting priests and troubled teens who…

Wet Dreams

First up, this week’s column is dedicated to ex-Wu Tang warrior Ol’ Dirty Bastard (a.k.a. Russell Jones), who on November 13, just two days short of his 36th birthday, graduated to that big pimp parlor in the sky, and is now no doubt sippin’ Cristal with fellow legends like Biggie,…

Up the Down Staircase

Tyler was barely born when Kevin Huff looked down between his wife Shawnie’s legs and noticed that their third child had Down syndrome. It’s hard to pick out the signs of Down syndrome — the almond-shaped eyes, the low ears, the flat nose — on a squishy newborn face. But…

Letters

Press On Nipplegate: The State Press pissed off a lot of people in my time at Arizona State University (1993-96). It had its fallouts, but I don’t recall it ever being threatened with eviction (“Quid Pro Crow,” Joe Watson, November 18). And now, editors are getting reamed over a picture…

Arrest the Polyg Prophet Now!

Colorado City school superintendent Alvin Barlow meets me inside the hallway of the public school district’s crumbling administration building with an armed Colorado City cop at his side. Arizona’s senior school administrator is quivering with rage. He’s extremely unhappy to see me. Barlow ignores my greeting, abruptly turns and walks…

SMoCA’m If You Got ‘Em

Like Tara Reid getting a new rack or Cynthia Nixon deciding to bat for the home team, it’s a time of transition for Inferno, y’all. First off, Implants cartoonist Elaine Bell fled Phoenix for Manhattan a couple of weeks ago, where, from this point on, she’ll be seeking her fortune…

Letters

The Mex Files A documented fact: Good story by Robert Nelson on so-called illegal immigration! Very balanced and truthful (“Alien Nation,” November 4).Why don’t Americans — who don’t want to do manual labor anymore — get it? This country would go under, particularly the southwestern part of it, without undocumented…

Quid Pro Crow

During seven of the most frantic and festive days in the history of Arizona State University, a female nipple pierced with a 10-gauge barbell threw a wrench in President Michael Crow’s week. As news broke of ASU’s first Nobel Prize winner in the university’s 119-year history, the ASU community was…

Letters

Life Goes On Editor’s note: More than 1,500 letters and phone calls came in on New Times’ recent article about Preserve A Life Inc. (“Forever Yours,” Esteban Sauer, October 28). First Bush wins the election, now this!: I just finished reading “Forever Yours,” and I can only imagine the mountain…

Dangerous Dance

For the roughly 735,000 Arizonans and 56 million Americans who got trampled by the November 2 election, the challenge now is to follow in the footsteps of the Boston Red Sox. This is not the time to give up in despair after Senator John Kerry’s narrow defeat. It’s time to…

Lord of the Lies

Hours after storied Phoenix attorney Tom Thinnes died September 14, two of his adult sons drove to a rental storage facility on West Indian School Road. Despite overwhelming grief, they needed to see if their father’s safe was there, and in it vital papers about his burial wishes, life-insurance policies…

Punk You!

To borrow a line from Demi Moore boy toy Ashton Kutcher, “You’ve been punked!” That’s right, New Times’ October 28 cover story ’bout a Valley firm named Preserve A Life — which taxidermies deceased humans for “mountings” in the homes of loved ones, etc. — was a spoof just in…

Wham-Bam, Amsterdam, Ma’am

When I heard that Jett, the L-word Maria Menounos, wanted to go to Amsterdam with me, her extremely Kreme-y partner in nightlife, I thought maybe she’d seen the error of her lezzie ways, and wanted to get freaky with a fat man. So when I met up with her at…

Letters

Blackened and Tanned Duh, get a brain: While you’ve got to give the proprietors of the Black and Tan props for daring to operate an after-hours club in Phoenix, you’ve also got to wonder why these guys have to demonstrate how those who pass themselves off as underground chic in…

Alien Nation

Let’s just say Proposition 200 supporters got their wish: all 300,000 or so illegal immigrants left the Valley. Hallelujah! Prop 200 supporters would say. Arizona is doomed, Prop 200 detractors would lament. A new day would dawn. Emergency-room waits would plummet. Hospitals could become solvent. Violent crime might drop. However,…

Born Again

Twenty years ago last April, I strapped on a backpack, called my dog, walked out the door of my parents’ northern Virginia home and set my course west. Bear and I hiked a couple of miles down to Interstate 66 and hitched the first of dozens of rides that would…

Letters

Mentally Challenged System failure: I would like to thank Paul Rubin for his tragic story about the horrible fate of the Aviles family (“Blood on Their Hands,” October 14). Arizona has failed seriously mentally ill adults for more than 20 years now, and it scares me to think how many…

Forever Yours

It was Timothy Braswell’s 13th birthday, and the candles on his pistachio-flavored ice cream cake had already burned halfway down to the white and green frosting. With a noisemaker in one hand and a silver-and-red party hat on her head, Timothy’s mom, Gloria, was growing more and more annoyed as…

Dirty Doggy-Style

Ever since yours truly arrived in the Zona, nearly everyone in P-town’s clubland has had the Black and Tan on their lips. And, no I don’t mean a pint of Guiness and Bass! I’m referring to the not-so-secret speakeasy, which has hosted bi-weekly Sodom-and-Gomorrah-esque after-hours par-tays, reportedly with underage cuties,…

Letters

Clods and Monsters Kedwards offers no solution:Great story on the presidential election. (“Raging Bull,” Michael Lacey, October 7). I work in politics, and I’m going insane right now. I can’t wait until this election’s over. My view is that the world is better off without Saddam and his sons running…

In God We Trust

Richard Ellison, founder and president of Help Ministries, says his organization is doing the Lord’s work. In a message on the Mesa-based group’s Web site, Ellison says the 28-year-old ministry is “a voice in a hurting world, but more than a voice, a committed group of people ready to make…