A masterpiece of meat-puppetry, that’s what Jett and I are watching, along with hundreds of other corset-and-chaps-wearin’ sensation seekers as the clock clicks past 10 p.m. or so at The Sets in Tempe. The occasion is the June 4 Arizona Fetish Ball, dubbed the “Fetish Prom” for theme’s sake, and…
Slammer Time Below-average Joes: Paul Rubin’s story is hard to believe. No, I guess it really isn’t, in that Steve Cervantes died while in Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s custody (“Assisted Suicide,” June 2). What else is new, right? What I liked about the story is that it portrayed not…
“Kreme,” sighs the Jettster via phone as we consult on our next nocturnal escapade. “I need a lap dance.” I’d only just gotten through to the J-unit at 2 p.m. on a Tuesday, following a series of phone calls trying to locate her sorry ass so we could sketch out…
Range War No-good crooks: I just got done reading Sarah Fenske’s excellent article on the old cowboy who beat the liar environmentalists (“The Rancher’s Revenge,” May 26). Bravo to that guy, and bravo to New Times for stepping out of its liberal mold and telling the truth for a change…
It’s late on a warm Thursday night in April, and William Windsor heads to the checkout stand at the Fry’s supermarket at 20th Street and Highland Avenue, in central Phoenix. Customers and cashiers stare at the 5-foot-11, 180-pound man, who is dressed in a pink bonnet, pink shorty dress, and…
My 15-year-old son jolted me out of my morning trance the other day with a question that sent my mind reeling. “Dad, did you know that high schools are providing the names, addresses and phone numbers of students to military recruiters without permission?” Looking up from my coffee, I replied,…
At 2:30 p.m. on May 14, 2002, Maricopa County jail psychiatrist Joe Franzetti scribbled a note into the medical chart of his patient, inmate Steve Cervantes. He wrote that Cervantes was “stable, compliant, and with a brighter mood. No homicidality. No suicidality. No delusions. Insight and judgment improved. Socializes appropriately,…
Like Houston MC Mike Jones says, if you don’t grind, you don’t shine, so the bisexual Eva Green and her cohort (that would be me) always make the scene, even when our funds are tight. As this has been the case of late, Jett and I have been on the…
Dogg Show Reefer madness: I absolutely loved your Snoop Dogg cover. It was a beautiful piece of art! Plus it was funny to see Kreme cowering in the corner [of the cover page] in awe of Mr. Doggy Dogg and his harem. And the Inferno column itself was very funny…
Jim Chilton doesn’t just admire cowboy values. He believes in them. And, like any true believer, he’s eager to share the gospel in well-rehearsed sound bites, whenever the situation allows. Ask him, for example, why he decided to sue one of the West’s most prominent environmental groups. “I laid in…
Democratic Governor Janet Napolitano’s taking it to the House — and the Senate — leaving no doubt about who’s the most powerful politician in state government. Brash, abrasive and confident, Napolitano craftily used this past legislative session to capture the pole position for next year’s gubernatorial race that’s shaping up…
“Take a hit off this Indo, Kreme,” Snoop Dogg advises, passing me a spliff the size of a Subway sandwich. “One toke’ll give you Chinese eyes, nephew.” I grab the fatty and inhale ’til the cherry’s blazin’. My lungs feel like that cherry looks, but I’m doin’ my Kremealicious best…
Phoenix Rising Love it or leave us: I was incredibly impressed with your story “Phoenix Has an Inferiority Complex” (Amy Silverman, May 12). Being from New York, and having more recently moved here from Boston, I personally find myself saying more and more that the worst thing about Phoenix is…
Much to my amazement and delight, Arizona has finally delivered a powerful blow to the fundamentalist Mormon polygamist theocracy that controls all aspects of public and private life in Colorado City. On May 9, Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano quietly signed into law a bill that will allow state education officials…
Somehow, the night just doesnt feel complete until the hot blonde in the “I ♥ Dick” tee shirt bends over, peels down the back of her jeans and asks the tuxedoed Richard Cheese, “Sign my ass?” It’s 10 o’clock on a Friday night in Las Vegas — actually, in nearby…
In matters of appearance, the southwestern willow flycatcher is no dodo: Barely half an ounce, with pale yellow and gray feathers, it’s as photogenic as any sparrow. But when it comes to Darwinian fitness, the flycatcher comes up short. Consider its relationship with the brown-headed cowbird. The cowbird, a far…
It ain’t easy being the Jay-Z and Beyoncé of the nightlife scene here in the PHX. For real, goin’ out every week, gettin’ our drink on, and sliding up on some of the finest squirrels you’ve ever seen may look like a sweet deal, but once in a while, the…
Who’s Alienated Now? Editor’s note: Michael Lacey’s satirical column “Alienated” (May 5) got readers’ attention in a big way — mostly because what he described (vigilantes drawing down on 800 Mexicans inside a Phoenix Roman Catholic church) is almost predictable in an era of “Minutemen” patrolling Arizona’s border with Mexico…
“Can I rub your tummy for luck?” asks the gorgeous dime-piece before me in the lounge of the James Hotel’s J Bar in Scottsdale, her smooth skin the color of Ghirardelli chocolate. As her hands are already caressing my abdominal protuberance, I figure it’s best to reply in the affirmative…
Go Suns! Rants and raves: I enjoyed your column on the Phoenix Suns immensely. Though I enjoyed the ride and all of the characters in ’92-’93, this year’s team surpasses that team in many areas (“Valley of the Suns,” John Dougherty, May 5). I think when you stay out all…
New Orleans is sexy. Denver is earthy. Austin rocks, Dallas shops. New York never sleeps. San Francisco is stunning. Los Angeles is star struck. Boston is really smart. And Phoenix? Phoenix is slumped on the Barcalounger eating potato chips and drinking beer, scratching itself, bored to tears. If Phoenix had…
No such thing as bad publicity? Tell that weak sauce to Jodi Upton, owner of the hip-hop club CBNC (short for Coyote Bay Night Club) at Scottsdale’s Papago Plaza, which has been hurtin’ ever since former Arizona State Sun Devils football player Brandon Falkner caught a fatal bullet in the…
