I’m at home splashing on some Pierre Cardin musk, preparing to step out and get skunked at the illustrious Bikini Lounge on Grand Avenue, when the celly beeps to the tune of Too Short’s “Shake that Monkey.” Of course, it’s that lezzie lady-pimp of renown, my partner in nighttime inebriation,…
Damn it, Inferno’s cool! Hippie parent killin’: I can’t believe that recent letter writer, Sandleboy of Seattle (“Business As Usual,” Letters, March 18). What the fuck is Greg Leos’ waterlogged problem? I’ve lived in both cities, and Phoenix has just as many cool nightspots as the precious jewel of the…
Even the son of Gretzky wanted to meet Brian Boucher. So, on Valentine’s Day, after the Phoenix Coyotes had beaten the Dallas Stars, Wayne, part-owner of the Coyotes and the best hockey player ever, brought his three-year-old, Tristan, with him to the locker room of the brand-new arena. But Boucher…
There are two rule books for doing business in downtown Phoenix. One is for Jerry Colangelo and his stable of businesses revolving around the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Phoenix Suns. This rule book is very thin. In fact, open it, and there’s only one page containing four words: Cut Jerry…
Tom Avila prides himself on getting the scoop. Early this year, Valley talk radio listeners became acquainted with the 45-year-old’s distinctive nasal voice, as he delivered the day’s “Big Story News” on KFNX (1100 AM). Avila worked for two months as the station’s news director, signing off each newscast with…
That Big Playboy in the sky works in mysterious ways. The Lesbian Johnny Knoxville and I had chosen to ride on Minder Binder’s ska-punk Thursdays, expecting to find folks bouncing their heads to the sounds of local, Von Dutch-wearin’, AFI wanna-bes. But when we arrive at that big, red barn…
Artwork Exposed Taking offense: I am continually surprised by the lack of decency prevalent in society. Today, upon arriving at work, I was unable not to notice the cover of your most recent newspaper (“Degas Uncovered,” Stephen Lemons, March 18). While I have become somewhat accustomed to seeing similar works…
Jesus raps a bit like Tupac. Not in the content of his lyrics, of course — he devotes his rhymes to condemning the vices of thug life, unlike ‘Pac, who lived and died by them. But his delivery is definitely West Coast, his meter precise and masculine like a gangster…
Connie Thompson was livid about my recent column reporting that she had lied by failing to disclose a felony arrest record on an application leading to her appointment to a powerful state regulatory board. In a widely circulated e-mail to people she thinks are her supporters that was forwarded to…
Don’t expect Walter Winfield to ever attend another office Christmas party. In December 2000, Winfield was a top salesman at Auto Trade Center and the only African American at the car remarketing firm, then based in Scottsdale. His superiors celebrated his success by mocking him at the company Christmas party,…
Through the Years A real old-timer: Hey, I go way back with New Times. I am looking at Volume Two, Number One, in my archives and indeed beside the roast I received for the 100-year storm that wiped out the Summers End Festival, the headlines and a Michael Lacey review…
Cheers to Mayor Phil Gordon for moving to seize control of downtown Phoenix’s rehabilitation from a corporate cabal controlled by Jerry Colangelo. In public statements and in an interview with New Times recently, Gordon claimed the city won’t rubber-stamp Colangelo’s privately funded, secret master plan for downtown that Disney-esque Jerde…
Dave Misbeek and Silvario Garcia are, by their own admission, anal-retentive guys. They thrive on detailed perfection. They know every letter of the law and follow those letters religiously. They are the kind of guys you would hate to have running your homeowners’ association. But they are precisely the kind…
A court commissioner has dismissed criminal charges against two men and is likely to drop many other cases because he says the agency providing mental health services to county inmates is failing badly at its job. Commissioner Benjamin Vatz’s recent rulings — which followed six days of little-publicized hearings held…
The world’s fastest 17-year-old girl summons her teammates to the finish line of Peoria High School’s oval track. It’s the end of a grueling two-hour practice at Peoria High School, on a blustery day in late February. Jessica Onyepunuka, her defending state champion team’s undisputed leader, has worked hard all…
Hey, have you heard the news about Jerry Colangelo? No, not that he’s trying to sell the Phoenix Suns. Did you know he’s already sold his controlling interest in the Arizona Diamondbacks? That’s right. Jerry Colangelo is no longer the grand master of major league baseball in Arizona. In fact,…
It was eye-popping: Countless teenage bimbettes in low-cut jeans or short pleated skirts and provocative tops. If I had a dollar for every glimpse of skin-glittered ass-cleavage at Britney Spears’ Glendale Arena concert on a recent Wednesday night, I could afford a swimming pool full of Kris, and a set…
The Need for Speed The fast and the corrected: I would like to correct some misinformation contained in the article “The Fast and the Frustrated” (Jimmy Magahern, March 4). It was reported that Superior Racing Development performed “the high horsepower engine swap and the installation of the nitrous kit” on…
Shane Saunders tugs the brim of his baseball cap, pulling it down tighter over his short red hair, and stares out over the row of turbocharged Corvettes, Vipers and F-body Camaros parked behind the high-performance tuning shop where he works. “Nobody I know says they’re racing tonight,” he says, shaking…
Connie and Mark Thompson aren’t letting ethics, honesty and honorable public service get in the way of boosting the fortunes of the elder care referral business they run from their Tempe office. Instead, they are simply abusing their position of public trust to benefit their private business — even if…
Political Action That creepy feeling: I’ve gone around and around about these Tempe mayoral candidates (“The Mouth That Should’ve Roared,” John Dougherty, February 26). But I’d prefer not to vote for the obviously ignorant and corrupt one. That’s Dennis Cahill. If Hugh Hallman is bad for Tempe, we’d know it…
Ever since blowing into this desiccated town from El Lay’s relatively humid climes, a number of fellow lowlifes have told me about a notorious gangbanger club at 2424 East Thomas that even scares the bejesus out of Phoenix SWAT. Apparently, the nightspot’s also the Saturday after-hours hangout for brown-and-black Phoenix…
