“So, buddy,” the guy sitting next to me at a Phoenix bar asked me one night in mid-1994, “you really think I could have done something like they say I did? You think I murdered the bastard?” I looked at him and rolled my eyes, as if to say, you…
By now, Arizona Republicans have chosen either Tom McGovern or John Kaites as their candidate for attorney general in November’s election. Either way, John Kaites’ political star has fallen. If McGovern won, the deed is done. If, by some twist of wacky Arizona electoral fate, Kaites pulled this thing off…
Slammer Time Sheriff Joe Arpaio is willing to lock up everyone and anyone so he can show numbers and justify building a new jail (“Paying the Price,” Tony Ortega, August 27). However, there isn’t enough money to feed, house and clothe those people now. They are considered guilty until proven…
When you talk to Gavan Wieser, the warmth of his personality and his thoughtful manner make it unsurprising that he used to be a Franciscan monk. But listening to his music makes it equally unsurprising that he quit before being ordained as a Catholic priest. The Catholic church probably doesn’t…
Saint Travis, hear our prayer. Patron of all-American boys, role models and virginal heartthrobs, protector of sweet-swinging lefty hitters, first baggers, ambidextrous athletes, lead us in the basepaths of righteousness in His game’s sake. Step to the plate and knock one into the cheap seats. Deliver us from the ignominies…
Snuff Garrett leans forward. He pulls a smoke out of his bronze, sombrero-shaped cigarette holder, takes a puff and dumps the ashes in one of his many silver, spur-shaped ashtrays. He tries to describe the laid-back life he leads at Idle Spurs, his six-and-a-half-acre spread amongst the lush, green hills…
Menu Can’t Stand Faithful Flash fans know that Fife and Ann Symington have completed their first week of study at the Scottsdale Culinary Institute–and undoubtedly are already freaked about their prospects for future employment. The Flash suggests they apply to run the chuck wagon at Nixon’s, a restaurant/bar slated to…
Candidates for justice of the peace like to say their courtrooms are truly “the people’s courts” in Arizona. But even Judge Judy might be appalled at the judicial shenanigans in Maricopa County as the September 8 primary election nears. In Scottsdale, one candidate has dumped more than $140,000 of his…
Jail Grouse Regarding Tony Ortega’s article (“Paying the Price,” August 27) on jail costs: Boo hoo! I’m weeping for those who curse at and otherwise provoke correction officers. Ortega calls Scott Norberg a former “Tempe football star.” Why does Ortega not call him what he really is–a former dope-selling, cop-attacking…
Once upon a time, in a land of citrus trees and money and neighborhoods with names like Paradise Valley, there lived a fairy princess and an ogre. The young princess–Robin Shaw–was so beautiful that the people chose her to lead them after seeing her pretty picture on signs posted across…
Shaping tomorrow through the youth of today! –Arizona Boys Ranch motto Lord help me, I need help, I need help . . . –Nicholaus Contreraz, the day before he died at Arizona Boys Ranch Autopsy photos are released, and on Thursday morning they’re on the front page of the daily…
In an otherwise ho-hum political season, the GOP attorney general primary has emerged as the race to watch–as much for its pure entertainment value as for what it divulges about the condition of Arizona’s Republican party. Tom McGovern and John Kaites both want to be Arizona’s top law enforcement officer,…
Harry F. Strong has these scraps of names, events, memories and deals, and as we sit in the semi-darkened living room, Mexican voices lap against the silence. Strong is in his late 60s, and the cancer eats his colon, liver and lungs and, most likely, other organs. By nature he…
Welcome to Bizarro World,” said assistant state attorney general Mitchell Klein near the beginning of his address to the Arizona Association of Industries on August 14. Last year, in a panel discussion on whether environmental regulation in Arizona is excessive and harmful to industry, Klein argued in favor of the…
Fife’s Kitchen It’s back to school for two unlikely Arizona figures! Fife and Ann Symington began classes at the Scottsdale Culinary Institute on Monday. Apparently, the Fifester considers restaurateuring as his next career move. Ann is already an investor in Roy’s, a new Scottsdale restaurant. Of course, there’s the little…
Sheriff Joe Arpaio continues to grab airtime whenever he can, whether it’s to announce that inmates will help stuff county elections envelopes or to call in his posse to investigate pet abuse. But what the sheriff hasn’t been talking about is how much money county taxpayers have had to shell…
For more than six months now, international news has been dominated by a story about a blowjob. While bombs have exploded, shots have been fired, cancer and AIDS have done their miserable business as usual, the most important issue according to the media has been whether Monica Lewinsky did or…
BFA Blues Your article (“I Was Sick . . . and Ye Visited Me Not,” Terry Greene Sterling, August 6) is continuing proof that the Baptist Foundation of Arizona is not a charitable foundation and should have that status revoked by the state and be forced to pay taxes to…
In Attack of the 70-Foot Courtesy Lady, he immortalized a high-rise-size hausfrau who wipes out an entire city with her “patent leather purveyors of death.” In What I Did to “Psycho,” he presented a revisionist version of the Hitchcock classic in which, dressed as all the characters in the movie…
Lori Romaneck says she felt sure of something when she stepped into the Phoenix Police Department on June 9, 1993. “I thought they’d make sure I wasn’t totally nuts,” she recalls, “then they’d go dig up Mother. Simple.” The Phoenix woman, then 32, had kept an enormous secret for more…
The townsfolk of Christopher Creek, a hamlet in the Mogollon Rim country, first spotted the young elk last year. Residents of the Gila County village say they’re used to seeing wildlife in the forests surrounding their homes, but never had an animal so captivated them. Nicknamed “Spike” by a local…
Senator John Kaites really ought to run for sheriff. The Deputy Dawg of Arizona politics has successfully sponsored a piece of legislation even more brilliant than his failed attempt to have new mothers drug-tested (by testing the umbilical cord–and I’m not making this up). On May 29, Governor Jane Hull…
