THE OUTER LIMITS

You unenlightened souls probably took one look at the new McDowell Arch at 16th Street (imagine driving under a picket fence), shook your heads and muttered, “This is the limit.” But when it comes to the cutting edge, the McDowell curio can’t hold a candle to what the country’s Next…

DIAL HIM FOR MURDER

Odd as it was, the caller’s request didn’t shock Leigh Wilson. “This woman on the other end said she had plenty of money and that she wanted a certain person killed,” says Wilson, a 48-year-old Scottsdale businessman. “This may sound crazy, but I’m one of the few people in the…

WOODS GETS TESTYTHE NEW AG TAKES AIM AT THE BAR EXAM

Attorney General Grant Woods has a grudge against the bar exam and, if he carries through on his plan to see it abolished for in-state law graduates, the Arizona Bar itself may have a grudge against him. Woods hated the test when he took it in 1979 after graduating from…

IN PLAIN VIEW

This is a brief account of a Maricopa County deputy sheriff’s overreaction and stupidity. During the sentencing of state Senator Jesus “Chuy” Higuera, I arrived early and took a seat in the front row, near the side door of the courtroom. A court employee came in the side door and…

FIELD AND SCREAM

DAY ONE 3:36 p.m.: We arrive at our campsite. Bonzo thinks he sees a wolf and refuses to get out of the car. 4:13 p.m.: I realize that the six-person, two-room tent I purchased for this little outing requires six people, power tools and a building permit to assemble. I…

BETRAYAL LESSONS

His appearance in the courtroom was a shock. We all remembered him as belligerent and fearless during the impeachment trial of Evan Mecham. In those days, state Senator Jesus “Chuy” Higuera brandished a microphone in his hand as though it were the Sword of Damocles. Through sheer ferocity, Higuera was…

PREZ CREDENTIALS

We are too hard on Dan Quayle. We should accept the heir to the Pulliam fortune for what he is rather than fret about his becoming president. Detractors say Quayle is more suited to becoming president of the Paradise Valley Country Club than moving into the White House. What’s wrong…

STUDY HAULYOUR KID’S DUMB LUCK IS THIS MAN’S FORTUNE

Claude Olney achieved the American Dream–the acquisition of vast wealth without a whole lot of labor–by turning his underachieving son into a gold mine. Almost everybody has seen Olney’s “infomercial,” a thirty-minute television commercial with 1970s sitcom star John Ritter. And almost everybody knows somebody who owns Olney’s best-selling video,…

HONK IF YOU LOVE YOUR UTILITY

How does a debt-ridden electric company with some of the highest rates in the nation and a long rap sheet of safety violations transform itself into one of the country’s top utilities? Officials at Arizona Public Service Company have the answer: Issue a press release. APS President and CEO Mark…

NEW TIMES INTERVIEW: STEVE TWISTA CANDID CONVERSATION WITH ARIZONA’S OWN MISTER JONES ABOUT BOB DYLAN BITTING HIS 50TH BIRTHDAY, POT BLOWIN’ IN THE WIND AT THE COLISEUM AND THE IRONIC ORGIN OF THE STATE’S UNFORGIVING DRUG LAWS

Sometime this month Bob Dylan–the Sixties’ most celebrated songwriter and cultural icon–turns 50. His liner notes to Biograph, Dylan’s musical auto-anthology, say he was born Robert Zimmerman on May 24, 1941. But what appears to be Dylan’s passport inside his recently released Bootleg Series–Volumes 1-3 suggests otherwise: The blue-eyed Robert…

THE MAN WHO USED TO BE KING

Terry Goddard feature It is easy to get in touch with Terry Goddard these days. If you phone him, he phones you right back. If you ask to meet with him, he easily finds the time. When you arrive at the high-rise office on Central Avenue where he practices law,…

COTTON’S CLOWN ACT

What’s left to say? They were awful. Who else could I be talking about except the Phoenix Suns? There are times when a ball club meets defeat and you can take consolation in saying the players tried their best. Not this time. The Suns dogged it through all four games…

The Last Laugh

A fable for modern times: Once upon a time, in a city not far away, a most remarkable thing took place. In this city, there was a very large plot of open ground that had been used for years as a school for the children of Native Americans. It was…

MOM’S THE WORD

One Mother’s Day a few years back, Mom and I were waxing nostalgic about what a delightful child I had been and how lucky she was to produce me in only one out of three tries. Actually, Mom wasn’t reminiscing so much as rolling her eyes skyward and making rude…

A BISHOP’S ABUSE

My wife’s question at the dinner table gave me pause. Like everyone else, we’d been discussing the outrageous events swirling around state Superintendent of Public Instruction C. Diane Bishop. The police had been summoned on April 21 to a downtown condominium by neighbors who reported a bloodied and battered woman…

FIELD OF SCHEMES

Mayor Paul Johnson thinks he may have found a new way to keep spring training alive in the Valley while enabling Phoenix to score its own major league baseball team–all with one swing of the fiscal bat. While the Arizona State Legislature ponders a proposal to levy a quarter-cent sales…

TOYLAND’S TOP TEN

ACTION HIGHWAY “Action! Chases! Danger!” Speed traps, collapsing bridges and head-on collisions made this battery-operated racetrack more fun than your average Sunday drive. Drive-by shootings and homicidal hitchhikers not included. MYSTERY DATE “When you open the door, will your date be a dream (sigh!)–or a dud (groan!)?” Juvenile jezebels vie…

BUTT HEAD

It’s easy for adults to rationalize their most self-destructive weaknesses in the company of other adults. But throw a kid into the picture and the process becomes damn near impossible. “What did you do in school today?” I asked my five-year-old son one recent afternoon, expecting to get the usual…