This is a story of how the schoolchildren of Arizona are denied a decent education by naive bureaucrats, businessmen too fond of sharp practices, and conniving politicians. It is a tale of the single worst blind date in the history of Phoenix. In this column, you will also discover that…
I do not handle illness well. Give me a mild case of sniffles or up my body temperature to 98.7 and I start doing my impersonation of Ali MacGraw in Love Story. I tramp around the house, moaning softly and reminding my wife that love means never having to say…
During one of the few days he actually appeared for work at the United States Coast and Geodetic Survey, James Abbott McNeill Whistler executed a small engraving of an island in the Santa Barbara Channel off the coast of California. Because he was Whistler, he could not resist adding some…
Emery Johnson sauntered into South Mountain High School this fall wearing his shades and his Attitude. He fit right in with all the other gangly, streetwise kids who sure as hell didn’t need to be bothered with school. He started ditching classes almost immediately. He decided he’d rather spend his…
Phoenix’s embattled inner-city high schools faced their biggest crisis ever last summer, when a short, round, hyperactive Irishman named Timothy Dyer announced that he planned to resign as superintendent of the Phoenix Union High School District. The leprechaunesque Dyer, who cooked up the South Mountain Plan, has been a successful…
The scandal of pedophile Catholic priests in the Diocese of Phoenix has distressed Bishop Thomas O’Brien so much that he no longer will talk publicly about it–except to excoriate reporters for writing about the topic. But there was no escaping from the topic earlier this month, when O’Brien and his…
Long ago, in a bathroom not very far away, the leaders of the Rebel Alliance–led by the heroic Luke Skywalker–planned their next attack against the evil Galactic Tub Toys in an adventure that would become known as . . . THE EMPIRE GETS WET An All-Star Sci-Fi Action Fantasy with…
The uproar over Gene Stallings’ departure is just one more indication that Phoenix remains a hick sports town. As a coach, Stallings was a loser. The Phoenix Cardinals will survive. They may not get any better, but they won’t be any the worse for his leaving. There’s a revolving track…
When the story is fully told, I think Keith Turley’s greed will rival Charles Keating’s penchant for buying U.S. senators in sheer gall. The head of Arizona’s largest corporation, Pinnacle West, Turley recently disclosed in documents filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission that he expects you and me and…
You’re John McCain, a fallen hero who wanted to become president so desperately that you sold yourself to Charlie Keating, the wealthy con man who bears such an incredible resemblance to The Joker. Obviously, Keating thought you could make it to the White House, too. He poured $112,000 into your…
When is a trivia question not a trivia question? For the answer to that puzzler, just grab the phone and call Star Entertainment Trivia, a new telephone game sponsored by the grocery store tabloid of the same name. Using touch-tone buttons to indicate your responses, simply answer six multiple-choice questions…
Two local attorneys–an Italian-American and a black–are launching a petition drive this morning (November 15) they hope will resolve the muddled King holiday controversy, New Times has learned. Joe Martori and Cynthia McCoy, attorneys with Brown & Bain who call their effort the Holiday Unity Group, or HUG, say they…
Miniature John Candys in Weeboks conducting table-side experiments with snot. Pint-size Roseanne Barrs pulling assorted forms of insect life from their pinafore pockets at inappropriate moments. Or short Sam Kinisons peering up your female companion’s skirt, complete with running commentary. Say “children in restaurants,” and these nightmarish visions are what…
Charlie Hoover seemed to be at the top of his game in early 1984. The big-money Phoenix attorney had just concluded a massive deal on behalf of First Federal Savings and Loan (now MeraBank). It was the bank’s largest deal ever–a $400 million loan to the Marriott Hotel chain for…
Stop the presses! The top story on Sunday night’s NEWSCHANNEL 3 wasn’t the crumbling Berlin Wall or the newest slaughter in El Salvador. No, the top news of the day according to CHANNEL 3 just happened to be the story of an ex-Arizona mom accused of shooting her own children…
In order to be a topflight journalist like myself, you need keen powers of observation to pick up on the subtleties of life that escape the common folk. And lately, one thing I’ve been noticing is that the difference between fathers and mothers is as great as the difference between…
To many people, Hollywood animation means the Disney cartoon–which in a slow, six-decade decline has seemed increasingly aimed at the very young and insatiably sweet-toothed. Over the years, dozens of would-be animation moguls have threatened a revolution. But last year, the studio that proved a mouse can talk bounced back…
Bill Frieder clearly has a retarded person’s view of modern communications. Frieder is too dense to realize those cute and self-serving remarks that he makes to sportswriters from New York and Detroit have the ability to bounce back to Arizona within minutes. So when Arizona State University’s new basketball coach…
Where is Joy Johnson? The little “Wednesday’s Child,” whose thwarted adoption was profiled in last week’s New Times, has been moved to Oklahoma by her current foster parents. The couple who had wanted to adopt her are now asking, is this the “stability” the Arizona Department of Economic Security promised…
John Pomeroy was an “incurable animation addict” when he joined Walt Disney Productions in 1973, heralded as part of the “new breed” set to replace Walt’s original animation veterans. But within six years, the bloom was off the cartoon rose: Pomeroy and a handful of other new breeders walked out…
Think “Arizona Public Service” and what comes to mind? Bloated electricity rates, incompetent management, gross callousness toward public concerns about nuclear safety? Whether the topic is overpriced skyboxes or plummeting dividends, APS is the company we all love to hate. Its cross-town counterpart, however, is another matter entirely. The Salt…
On July 31 police from the small Arizona town of Parker caught the high school’s football coach in a compromising phone conversation with a twelve-year-old Indian girl. It was not the first such incident involving the highly successful coach. After resigning from Parker High School, the football coach was hired…
