Leesa Stuck’s house is where birds go to kill themselves. “They fly directly into the glass walls,” Stuck says, pointing a bare foot at one of the several floor-to-ceiling windows in her Paradise Valley home. “Mostly sparrows. You know, the little brown kind. They don’t know about glass. They’re just…
By now, if you follow the news, you’ve no doubt heard of Lawrence R. Pargo, a.k.a. The Poor Kid Who Police Claim Was Driving a Hyundai at 147 Freaking Miles Per Hour. But for all you cave-dwellers out there, here’s the recap: Scottsdale PD arrested Pargo, 26, in late May…
Published online June 13, 2006, 5:21 p.m. MST Maricopa County paid more than $326,000 over the past year to a private law firm that employed Andrew Thomas immediately before his election as county attorney. The county payments to Wilenchik & Bartness began in May 2005, four months after Thomas took…
Why do Mexican soccer fans chant “Osama! Osama!” when their side plays the United States? You don’t hear American soccer fans yell “La migra!” White Boy Dash Dear Gabacho, You think hurling Osama bin Laden’s name is tasteless? How about the Daily Mail columnist who, on the day England faced…
On the Road Deals made in the shade: Kudos to Sarah Fenske for taking the time to listen and investigate Paul Braunstein’s allegations (“Friends at Work,” June 1). The Arizona Department of Transportation’s shady practices are why Arizona will always be the “pothole” of the country. Shame on James Romero…
The hell with whistle-blowing! The Bird is squawking loud and clear on behalf of workers who toil on the printing presses at Phoenix Newspapers (the company responsible for inking the Arizona Republic), who are being forced to work triple shifts — or else. That’s almost 24 hours straight, folks. And…
Published online June 13, 2006, 5:21 p.m. MST Maricopa County paid more than $326,000 over the past year to a private law firm that employed Andrew Thomas immediately before his election as county attorney. The county payments to Wilenchik & Bartness began in May 2005, four months after Thomas took…
Aside from the fetish festivities this evening, which I’ll describe in a sec, Chasers in Scottsdale looks like everyone’s friendly neighborhood dive, with pool tables for the cue-ballers, a low stage for musical acts, and an abundance of TV sets, which I’m guessing on most nights feature sporting events. But…
What is it with you Mexicans who want to take back California? Is it that conquistador blood that’s driving you? Go Back to Granada Dear Gabacho, Besides beards, light skin and bad wine, the Spanish conquistadors brought with them to Mexico the legacy of reconquista, which has replaced WMDs as…
Dear Gabachos, Bienvenidos to Ask a Mexican!, the world’s foremost authority on America’s favorite beaners! The Mexican can answer any and every question on his nationality, from why Mexicans stick the Virgin of Guadalupe everywhere to our obsession with dwarves and transvestites. In the course of his answers, The Mexican…
Cult of Personality Porn again: Thank you, New Times, for tipping me to Katie Rose’s porn (“It Girl,” Megan Irwin, May 25). I had no idea; I’m far from being in that loop. I’m happy to read that she’s not embarrassed by having done it. I’m puzzled why she spends…
During the Arizona State-Arizona series in Tucson a few weeks ago, Arizona Daily Star sports columnist Greg Hansen wrote of ASU’s head baseball coach: “Pat Murphy will win no one’s popularity contest. He’s thoroughly unlikable, but that’s good in the sense of the UA-ASU thing. . . . One thing…
Arizona State University officials cut an outrageous deal with insiders on the sale of the ASU president’s house that appears to have shortchanged taxpayers more than a half-million dollars, according to university records and interviews with key ASU officials and area real estate agents. The money lost to ASU could…
A little more than a year ago, the Arizona Department of Transportation paid Paul Braunstein almost a million dollars to go away. Braunstein is the owner of BasePlans, a small engineering firm in Tempe. He once counted ADOT as his biggest client. A native of Hoboken, New Jersey, Braunstein had…
Keystone Klowns Who needs Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey when Maricopa County’s got its own version of the Insane Clown Posse on call, 24/7? Yep, these clowns wear brown instead of round red noses and greasepaint, and they’ve even got shiny badges instead of water-spittin’ daisies on their shirts!…
Whenever I bad-mouth illegal immigration at work, many of my Latina co-workers automatically assume I’m bad-mouthing Mexicans. Why do Mexicans always think that when a gabacho expresses dislike toward illegal immigrants, that they’re talking about Mexicans? Fences Make Good Neighbors Dear Gabacho, Where to begin . . . where does…
Before the P-town Rihanna and I get blunted at the four-year anniversary of the Dolemite of hip-hop clubs in the PHX, there’s a little information we must convey to the masses. In the last Inferno at WWIII Sadisco (“War Games,” May 18), I mentioned that Sadisco co-founder Donnie Burbank believed…
A Hard-Rock Life It’s been done before: About Katie Rose, her fans who worship her are either people who lead dull lives and who are dissatisfied with themselves or they’re people who don’t have anything better to do with their time (“It Girl,” Megan Irwin, May 25). Pretty pathetic, if…
It’s a Monday evening in early May, business as usual at The Rogue, a dive bar on Scottsdale Road, not far from the Tempe border. The Rolling Stones’ “Paint It Black” is on the stereo, and the daytime bartender serves cheap beers to the early regulars. As if on cue,…
Boy, are a butt-load of you homos (and by homos, this plumed penman means Homo sapiens) wack! And no, The Bird ain’t talkin’ about Tom Cruise with a mouthful of placenta, or Keith Richards climbing a freaking Fiji coconut tree. Rather, this cee-gar-chompin’ nest-dweller’s squawkin’ about the nutty response to…
And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore is he justified. — Joseph Smith’s 1831 revelation on marriage and polygamy as currently published in the mainstream Mormon Church’s Doctrine and…
Dear Mexican, Why don’t Mexicans like being called Hispanics? Hispanic Doesn’t Make Me Panic Dear Spic, Because Mexicans aren’t Hispanic — Mexicans are Mexican. Besides, the history of “Hispanic” involves two attributes Mexicans despise: political correctness and a clueless bureaucracy. In 1975, Caspar Weinberger — then Secretary of Health, Education…
