Great Knights of Columbus, this carping canary can barely believe the scuttlebutt whispered in its ear-hole by a well-placed source in the offices of the Maricopa County Attorney, somebody The Bird will hereafter call Deep Beak! According to Deep Beak, our tough-talkin’ County Attorney Andy Thomas should be renamed Candy…
Try getting through one summer day of 100-degree-plus weather in Phoenix with no electricity. It would be beyond miserable and quickly become a matter of life and death. Last summer more than two dozen homeless people fell dead on the streets of Phoenix during a July heat wave. For most…
Construction snakes up and down pretty much every street in downtown Tempe, making it practically impossible to drive — let alone find a parking spot — anywhere near Mill Avenue or the Arizona State University campus. This has gone on all summer, and will continue into the fall. Blame it…
A top Valley Metro Rail manager is accused of repeatedly pressuring consultants on the light-rail project to hire a particular engineering firm — even though the consultants complained that the manager had a conflict of interest under federal law. The consultants first notified Valley Metro Rail executives of the alleged…
I just don’t get Mexicans and their grooming. The men slick their hair with baby oil, gel or Vaseline, or just shave it all off. The women wear it in ponytails with a neon green hair band or in pigtails or wear bangs created with the biggest curling iron in…
Humor Us He who laughs last . . . doesn’t get the joke: Thanks for adding some sanity to the nationwide debate over joking around over the Internet (“Molehill Mountain,” The Bird, July 13). Careers have been ruined inside the Mesa Police Department over this, and it’s not right. And…
Sabrina Williams cringes as she opens her cupboard and pulls out her last pack of Camellia kidney beans, the only brand that cooks down into creamy and smooth New Orleans-style red beans — impossible to find in her adopted hometown, Glendale, Arizona. But Williams’ timing is good. Her parents are…
I flew into Phoenix with two light-blue trash bags as luggage. My son Hector was born in New Orleans early on Sunday, August 28, 2005, 24 hours before Hurricane Katrina and a faulty levee system devastated the city. Our new little family — Hector, my boyfriend Merv, and I —…
How often do you get to peep porno at a city attorney’s office? This pervy pelican’s referring to Mesa City Attorney Debbie Sphincter’s (uh, Spinner’s) office, where the top prosecutor keeps alleged lewd e-mails on file. See, Mesa coppers were sending these un-PC missives to each other until an internal…
I’m a culturally sensitive, PC Asian-American who laughed my head off at Jack Black’s imitation of a Mexican in Nacho Libre. Is this wrong? Vietnammy Mammy Dear Chinita, Wrong? Of course not. While Latino activists weep and moan about how gabachos like Jack Black reduce Mexicans to stock characters with…
Bring on the Flunk Life skills lacking: I’m glad that you took on the unhappy task of pointing out that giving things away to poor kids may not be the right thing to do (“Flunk’d,” Sarah Fenske, June 29). The Thomas J. Pappas School does what it sets out to…
Most restaurants start with a dream or a corporate scheme. Ajo Al’s started with a horrific car accident. Karen Dains recounts the bare facts of the accident with detachment: Colorado Springs, 1980. Another driver braking too suddenly; her young family’s car skidding off the road; her back broken. Even today,…
Just after sunset on a Monday in May, early summer heat is mellowing into a soft, balmy night, and the Arizona State University campus in Tempe is animated with end-of-the-semester buzz. A benefit concert hosted by local indie label Western Tread is starting late, and outside the Galvin Playhouse, a…
What with Hot Pink! having shot its last hipster wad at Karamba this past April 28, there’s a huge, gnarly hole on Friday nights waiting to be filled. The twentysomething sleazy scenesters who rule the white-kid club scene here in Sand Land need an appropriately skuzzalicious venue wherein to work…
Why do Mexicans traditionally like Chevys? Did Chevy once target the Mexican consumer base for some reason and it worked? Pocho in a Pontiac Dear Pocho, An urban legend suggests that Mexicans don’t like Chevys (pronounced with a harsh “ch” as in “chicken” and “chupacabra,” gracias) because the auto giant…
House Bloat Don’t hold your breath: ASU hereby demands that New Times timely correct its false statements as required under A.R.S. 512-653.03. ASU is truly disappointed by [John] Dougherty’s article (“Bleak House,” June 8). ASU responded in a timely and good faith manner to Mr. Dougherty’s several public records requests…
Arizona State University failed to release crucial information related to the controversial sale of the ASU president’s house when it didn’t give New Times the transcript of a telephone call from a real estate broker who alleged serious misconduct in the sale of the property. Rather than coming clean about…
You’ll recall this squawker’s scribblings regarding the whole Pink Taco brouhaha a couple of months ago. Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross objected to the gynecological name of the Mexican-themed grub shack, which was setting up its second location at Snottsdale’s new highfalutin shopping/condo complex the Waterfront (“Raising Manross’ Hair,” April 27),…
Evidence is mounting that Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas are working together to undermine Arpaio’s chief political rival while enriching Thomas’ former law firm. And Thomas and Arpaio are using taxpayer funds to accomplish their skullduggery. The primary financial beneficiary is Phoenix law firm Wilenchik &…
I caught your appearance on the June 19 edition of The Colbert Report. You mispronounced the Spanish word “patience.” You told Colbert that the word was pacencia instead of paciencia. Why do assimilated Mexicans find Spanglish acceptable?El Erudito Dear Wab, Indeed, I did appear on the pinche hilarious Colbert Report,…
The Mexican Knowledge Honky please!: I love your new “Ask a Mexican!” column. I’ve noticed that there are New Times readers who completely miss the point about the column. These well-meaning, liberal Anglo idiots seem to think the column’s demeaning to Mexicans (for example, “Distant Relations,” Stephen D. Saulka, Letters,…
At the Thomas J. Pappas School, needy students can get free clothes, shoes, food, and dental work, all without leaving campus. What they can’t get is much of an education. For more than a decade, Maricopa County’s Pappas School has nurtured a national reputation as a place that delivers life’s…
