Keeping ’em in Stitches

Damon Dreckmeier’s blood was coming out both ends of him, and it had been coming out for hours. Vomited blood ran out of his mouth, down his chin and over his neck; it stained the seat of his pants. A nauseating, numbing feeling began in his stomach and gradually spread…

License to Bill

The U S West Direct Yellow Pages dated March 1997-98 advertises the “low fees–expert service” of attorney Robert L. Devers. “Services limited to bankruptcy. Seventeen years experience. Over 5,000 cases handled,” the small ad says. A few pages later, there’s a quarter-page ad for attorney Anthony W. Clark, whose “Arizona…

Chris Sheridan Would Like To Thank The Academy

A young man struggles along an empty stretch of desert road. Behind him rise the craggy fortresses and spires of Monument Valley–the Monument Valley of John Ford’s Stagecoach and Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in the West, of Easy Rider and Thelma & Louise and Forrest Gump. It’s such…

Going for Broke

It’s the morning of July 3 at the Peoria residence of Gabriel Murrietta and Ramona Flores Seja. They are explaining what it’s like to lose their dream home to foreclosure. “We really expected to see that tree grow up and give us shade,” says Flores, pointing to a small tree…

Shell Game

A mistake in the renovation of Grady Gammage Auditorium at Arizona State University has cost taxpayers up to $63,889 and set construction back three weeks. ASU scrambled to fix the error before it upset this year’s schedule of performances. According to the project manager, the equipment designers and the architect,…

Flashes

Unbowed by Dowd John Dowd is a softy, a cupcake, a paunchy punkin with a heart of ambergris. A teddy bear. We knew it all the time. But after a rough morning of defending Governor J. Fife Symington III on July 10, Dowd cuffed New Times reporter John Dougherty and…

Trial by Paper

For 10 weeks, federal prosecutors have presented evidence showing Governor J. Fife Symington III repeatedly overstated his assets and understated his liabilities when preparing personal financial statements between 1986 and 1990. The government alleges Symington prepared the false statements to influence lenders to grant loans to his real estate development…

Public Pays in Jail Death

At least 19 jail inmates have died on Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s watch. Others have been maimed. A man who is paralyzed below the waist was strapped into a medieval restraint chair so roughly that jailers broke his neck. New Times has detailed many cases of abuse and neglect in Maricopa…

Letters

Really Down on the Farm I am a 1997 graduate of Alhambra High School, which is located in the Phoenix Union High School District, and I would like to offer my view of a magnet school (“Hayden High School Had a Farm, e-i-e-i-o,” Michael Kiefer, June 26). Alhambra’s magnet program…

Glove Story

Round three, and Tyson bites off a chunk of the guy’s ear. Nobody can say for sure why he does it. In boxing, nobody can be sure of anything other than the concussive impact of punches. The referee deducts two points from Tyson, but lets the fight go on. Holyfield…

Intergroupies

Pete Rubi knew how to take care of himself in the rough world of Arizona politics. As a justice of the peace in Pima County, he weathered hard campaigns, censure by the Arizona Supreme Court and the criticism of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. But Pete Rubi suffered a massive heart…

Gentlemen and Scholars

Johnny Valenzuela had expected to be on the phone soliciting donations to help 16-year-old Abel Solis, an aspiring artist, stay in school. Instead, he was raising money to bury him. Abel had been one of the underprivileged but promising youths that Valenzuela and his organization, the Monroe Alumni Youth Association,…

Nice Land

An Icelandic court has found that two American fugitives should not be extradited to Maricopa County because of the condition of Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s jails. In May, New Times reported that Connie and Donald Hanes faced extradition from Iceland on charges that they illegally took Connie’s granddaughter, Zenith, away from…

Sugar Mommy

Thomas Washburne has spent the past decade dealing with Governor J. Fife Symington III’s insatiable appetite for spending other people’s money. No wonder Washburne suffers from high blood pressure. He has been the Symington family lawyer for 20 years. Most of that time, he helped manage Martha Symington’s fortune from…

Flashes

Republic Menace Stuff about the evil Arizona Republic: * In an editorial Tuesday, Arizona’s largest daily lamented that too many of us are enthralled by the 50th anniversary of the Roswell Incident, and too few are paying attention to the Pathfinder’s exploration of Mars. “A sensation-addled public, flitting from one…

Same Dam Story

Through May and June, as the late-spring melt flooded into Lake Powell, scientists, environmentalists and river runners all wondered aloud if the water level would reach the top of the Glen Canyon Dam spillway gates, which serve about the same purpose as the overflow drain on a bathroom sink. Everyone…

Letters

Aloft Cause Before Tony Ortega pats himself on the back for solving the mystery of the aerial lights seen March 13 (“The Great UFO Cover-up,” June 26), I have a question. Referring to comments by Sky Harbor International Airport air traffic controller Bill Grava, Ortega writes: “He [Grava] confirms that…

Crime Spree on the Reservation

The first bullet entered Brian Patrick Lindsay’s head and tore through his tongue. The 20-year-old Subway sandwich shop clerk grabbed his face and collapsed near the cash register. As he lay on his back, he was shot five more times at very close range, and then he was kicked by…

Trainplotting

Your leaders want you to trust them so badly you can almost feel their collective hands reaching out to you in gestures of beckoning. Either that or they’re fumbling clumsily in your pocket for your wallet. That’s because they are asking you to go to the polls on September 9…

Ket Nip

The warning on the vial is clear. “CAUTION: Federal law restricts this drug to use by or on the order of a licensed veterinarian.” Sammy, 24, clicks a metal tongue-pierce against the back of his teeth and gently pries out the vial’s rubber stopper with a pair of needle-nose pliers…

Flashes

Ozzfestering Only sissies don’t like Ozzy, and The Flash ain’t no sissy. He’s a hard-rockin’, sun-soakin’, beer-swillin’ American heavy-metal fan, dammit, and the sweaty, besotted, meth-ridden throngs who took over Blockbuster Desert Sky Pavilion for OZZfest ’97 last Thursday were beautiful people. Overcome with nostalgia as he reeled past a…

Shallow Victories

For most of the past seven weeks, Governor J. Fife Symington III has spent his days in U.S. District Court busy scribbling in a black, loose-leaf binder, seldom raising his head. But on Friday, June 27, Symington leaned back in his chair, stared at the witness and jury and thoroughly…