The Arizona Cardinals have released quarterback Kevin Kolb, and the replacement plan isn’t exactly reassuring.Former Indianapolis Colts backup Drew Stanton joins Brian Hoyer, John Skelton, and Ryan Lindley as the Cardinals’ quarterbacks — a group of guys we couldn’t say with 100 percent certainty would be starters at the Arena…
The Arizona Cardinals have signed quarterback Drew Stanton, and you might be wondering, “Who the hell is Drew Stanton?”Although there are several answers to that question, here’s one of them: Just a few years ago, he was the fourth-string quarterback on the absolute worst team in NFL history.See also:-Cardinals Quarterback…
After getting rid of their decent, but often-injured, number-one running back, the Arizona Cardinals have signed another team’s decent, but often-injured, number-one running back.Shortly after cutting Beanie Wells, the Cardinals have signed former Pittsburgh Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall to a one-year deal.See also:-Arizona Cardinals Cut Beanie Wells, Leaving Team…
The Arizona Cardinals cut running back Chris “Beanie” Wells on Monday, which tells the world that the quarterback position isn’t the only severe problem with the team’s roster.Wells, the Cardinals’ number-one pick in the 2009 draft, was injured and injured often during his stint with the team, and his departure…
This week in the Arizona Cardinals’ desperate, years-long search for a functional quarterback: Matt Barkley.According to one of the NFL.com writers at the scouting combine this week, the Cardinals found Barkley “extremely impressive,” and there’s a “rumor” that the Cardinals are “very interested” in the USC quarterback…
Josh Booty has won the strange MLB Network reality television competition show in which former college quarterbacks battle to see who can throw the best knuckleball and earn the chance to pitch for the Arizona Diamondbacks during the team’s spring training.We’re not sure how we didn’t see this coming, but…
The Arizona Diamondbacks are going to be part of an incredibly strange reality television show, in which old, former college quarterbacks compete to see who can throw the best knuckleball, and earn the chance to pitch for the D-backs in spring training.Imagine one of the contestants, 50-year-old Doug Flutie, wearing…
Despite the high attendance, perhaps one of the least-known facts about the Waste Management Phoenix Open is that Phil Mickelson won the thing.See, the final round on Sundays always encroaches on the pre-Super Bowl activities, and we were wondering the day before if it was possible to get drunk just…
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before — a deal to purchase the Phoenix Coyotes didn’t work out.Prospective owner Greg Jamison had a deadline of yesterday to buy the team and finalize an arena lease agreement with the City of Glendale, and it didn’t happen…
After just four games in this season, the average attendance for Phoenix Coyotes home games has already reached last in the National Hockey League.That’s the same Phoenix Coyotes team that lost in the Western Conference Final last year to the eventual Stanley Cup champions, the Los Angeles Kings.See also:-Phoenix Coyotes…
Let’s make an agreement about the Pro Bowl: we all have as much fun watching it as the players enjoy playing in it — we don’t, and they don’t.It’s lame, boring, and in no way can the Pro Bowl be compared to an actual football game. That said, that’s exactly…
After more than a year of trade rumors involving Arizona Diamondbacks right-fielder Justin Upton, he’s actually being traded.The Diamondbacks traded Upton and third-baseman Chris Johnson to the Atlanta Braves for five players, including Martin Prado…
Indianapolis Colts offensive coordinator Bruce Arians has been hired as the man to lead the Arizona Cardinals to victory, which ranks somewhere between walking on water and healing a blind man, as far as miracles are concerned.Arians got his first head-coaching experience this year, when Colts head coach Chuck Pagano…
For what it’s worth, New York Jets quarterback/God’s favorite son Tim Tebow was spotted working out at Paradise Valley Community College yesterday.To make the baseless trade speculation very easy, there’s a guy who claims he can throw footballs, near an NFL team that made it very clear this year that…
From the “better late than never” department, the National Hockey League is a functioning thing again, and a 48-game schedule has been created for each team this season.The season was supposed to start a few months ago, but the whole lockout debacle messed that up completely, so the Phoenix Coyotes’…
Here’s your Christmas miracle, folks: the Arizona Cardinals won an actual football game, and they actually scored touchdowns in the process.After losing nine games in a row, rookie quarterback Ryan Lindley and the Arizona Cardinals defeated the Lions of Detroit, by a score of 38-10.See also:-Arizona Cardinals Suck More Than…
The Arizona Cardinals will be rolling with rookie quarterback Ryan Lindley this week against the Detroit Lions, because, really, who gives a shit at this point?It’s not as if it actually matters who’s chucking up the footballs for the Cards, but the spectacle at the quarterback position has been the…
The Arizona Cardinals have placed porcelain doll quarterback Kevin Kolb on injured reserve, meaning he’s done for the season.That move leaves the Cardinals with three options at quarterback for the rest of the suck-fest known as the 2012 season: starter-turned-backup-turned-starter-turned-backup-turned-starter John Skelton, rookie Ryan Lindley, and some dude found on…
Here’s the state of pro sports in the Valley: baseball’s in the middle of the off-season, the Phoenix Suns have already found the basement of their division, the Arizona Cardinals totally suck, and the Phoenix Coyotes don’t even get to play.We can further explain that last part: the NHL announced…
The Arizona Cardinals completely, totally, and definitely suck.After losing eight games in a row, the Cardinals just keep getting worse. The team lost by 58 points — 58 to nothing — to the Seattle Seahawks at CenturyLink Field in Seattle yesterday.See also:-Arizona Cardinals Stink Like Old Socks, Lose to Mark…
The Arizona Cardinals announced today that John Skelton will be the starting quarterback this weekend against the Seattle Seahawks, ignoring the just-as-bad option of holding an open tryout for the position.Skelton’s replacing rookie Ryan Lindley, who replaced Skelton, who replaced the injured Kevin Kolb, who replaced Skelton, who was the…
The Arizona Cardinals are so bad, it’s almost unbelievable.The Cardinals lost yesterday to the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium by a score of 7-6, but the Cardinals didn’t end up losing to Jets starting quarterback Mark Sanchez. They didn’t lose to God’s favorite son, Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow…
