“I Will Not Exercise!” One Writer Resolves

​Tell the truth: How long did your New Year’s diet last?

Yeah, ours too.

Here at Phoenix New Times, we take a while to contemplate our resolutions — so just this week, we published our annual Resolution Guide. If you’re feeling guilty about those fries you just scarfed, sidle up next to our writers, all of whom share the dark secrets of the bad habits they refuse to ditch or the ones they’ve recently taken up.

Of course that includes an entry from the diet/exercise category, in which Robrt L. Pela hilariously recaps his decision to never exercise, even if it means never again experiencing the joy of prime rib.  

Open a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and spend a few minutes with Robrt. Then resolve to cancel your gym membership and head to the farmers market.