As the December 3 Colorado City Unified School District board of governors meeting draws to a close, Alvin Barlow, Arizona’s longest tenured public school superintendent, instinctively opens his pocket calendar to set the date for the next meeting. Barlow flips through the calendar for a few seconds and fumbles with…
Attention, fight fans: The Bird would like to direct your attention to Scottsdale, where anxious strippers are gearing up for a battle that may prove epic. In this corner, the City of Scottsdale, armed with the best legal advice money can buy and a burning desire to save its citizens…
The Meth Plague How to deal: My hat goes off to Maggie Voss and her accomplishments. What she’s done for herself and her family is no easy feat (“Ice, Ice, Baby,” Robert Nelson and Joe Watson, November 24). I know this because my story is very much like hers: hard-core…
Warren Granville is about the last judge anybody expected to become the target of attack dogs from the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office. Granville was a prosecutor for two decades before he became a judge in 2000. He takes the city bus to the downtown Phoenix courthouse every day, walks to…
Monsignor Dale Fushek, once second-in-command of the Phoenix Diocese and founder of the nation’s top church-based program for Catholic teenagers, has been arrested on 10 misdemeanor counts involving sexual misconduct with teenage boys and young men. The charges stem from the accounts of six men who all say they were…
I first met former Hopi tribal chairman Vernon Masayesva in December 1992, when my then-wife and I were publishing a weekly newspaper in Flagstaff. Masayesva called one afternoon and said he wanted to tell me a story of great importance to his tribe. A few days later, we met at…
Dead Man Driving In one way, the ticket James Hamburg got for running a red light on Country Club Drive in October wasn’t so unusual. He was heading south when the light at University Drive turned red, and he kept going. Woo hoo! The camera snapped his picture, and the…
“Ready to wrap your lips around a hookah, Kreme?” asks the J-Unit as we worm our way through the party people toward the bar at Mythos, this fly Mediterranean joint in Scottsdale that looks like it’s right out of Jabba the Hutt’s throne room in Return of the Jedi, with…
Music Scene Stealers In his Element: Great article! Element is the man! But I didn’t realize I was shopping or “primping myself” for a major-label record deal until I read your story (“Quiet Riot,” Jimmy Magahern, November 17). I agree about people not paying attention to the locals in the…
Maggie Voss cried as her 7-year-old son, Ryan, received a Student of the Month award from his school’s principal recently. The weeping was a little weird, but the other parents didn’t seem to notice. Some suburban moms tend to overreact to their babies’ accomplishments. That’s a given. It’s better than…
Arizona State University president Michael Crow’s stepped up his campaign to turn the most populous main campus in the nation into America’s most sterile institution of higher learning. Having already neutered ASU’s unruly fraternity community and squashed any display of politically oriented window decorations in dorm windows (because college kids…
Polygamyland On the run: I fully expect to see a cartoon in New Times soon of staff writer John Dougherty — white mane flowing and tape recorder in outstretched hand — chasing tall, skinny polygamist leader Warren Steed Jeffs down that long driveway leading to the polygamists’ new temple in…
Nothing about Theresa’s Noxzema-fresh face, curvy body, and just-washed auburn hair reveals the hell she put herself through for more than 20 years. “I know I don’t look like it now,” Theresa says, sipping an iced chai tea at Willow House, a downtown Phoenix coffee house, “but I did some…
There’s a party going on Thursday nights at the Shaker Room — if you’re savvy enough to find the dance floor. The club, practically hidden across a patio and up a flight of stairs behind Martini Ranch, is, to begin with, too far back from Stetson Drive to draw in…
Welcome to America, where our fearless leader’s busy golfing and barely bothered by reports that the CIA’s been hiding al-Qaeda prisoners in secret Eastern European jails formerly operated by the Soviet KGB. Where our entertainment’s provided by Team America’s second-in-command, Dick “Terrorist Your Game Is Through” Cheney, who’s lobbying Congress…
“Suck a duck, Jett, you’re getting collard juice all over my brand-new kicks!” I yelp as the AC/DC Gabrielle Union spoons some greens into her kisser. “I just got these K-Swiss at Steven’s Shoes, you crazy chickenhead.” “Mmmm, these truffled collards are delish,” she moans, as if in heat. “And…
Meth and the City An out-of-reach problem?: I just finished reading the excellent articles on the methamphetamine problem in Phoenix (“The Perfect Drug,” Joe Watson, Robert Nelson and Paul Rubin, November 3). Thank you so much, New Times, for once again being honest with the public. The drug problem is…
It’s getting near closing time at Tempe’s IKEA, and Kelli Quinn is inching farther away from the front entrance. Like some lonely patron in a smoky bar during last call, she’s hesitant to leave. But instead of horny drunks, Quinn is surrounded by screwed-together chairs and heat-veneered tables and polystyrene…
Okay, so it’s a furniture store. But one of the most popular items for sale at IKEA is its two-and-a-half-pound bag of frozen Swedish meatballs, the very same meatballs that customers line up for at the store’s indoor cafes around the globe. But county health inspectors are busy trying to…
A massive stone temple jutting from the crest of an oak-and-juniper knoll pierces the serenity of the broad horizon of the seductively beautiful Texas hill country. The 90-foot-high edifice is topped with a cupola and buttressed by a grand sweeping staircase leading to the main entrance. Circular columns resembling towers…
Until it saw some stupid cow with her left tit hanging out in the middle of a Target parking lot, The Bird was squawking with glee about the new, just-passed Chandler ordinance allowing mothers to breast-feed in public. This avian thought, “Why shouldn’t moms of every stripe — even ugly,…
Now, y’all know P-town’s bi-Kelly Monaco and I have both got us a sweet tooth or three, myself being partial to a pocketful of Abba-Zaba, and the Jettster having a thing for the eye candy of both sexes. So it’s a mystery to me why we took so long to…
