Shari Wilson’s house is falling apart at the seams. And her life isn’t so great, either. You’d never know it to look at her. At 32, Wilson has the wholesome good looks of a sitcom mom. Juggling 3-month-old Teagen in her kitchen in suburban Surprise, she might be starring in…
Firefighters! You gotta love ’em. They save lives, they put out fires, they make a nice pot of chili. And one of them tried to bone a sheep, too. Now, The Bird tried desperately to fly above this story, which the Arizona Republic played straight (natch) in two tiny, buried…
How would you like to sit inside a federal courtroom for seven weeks watching a grainy videotape repeatedly document the final moments of your mentally ill son’s life inside one of Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s county jails? What would go through your mind as you saw the jailhouse video of Arpaio’s…
Four hours before showtime, and Justin Warfield, the lead singer of the neo-New Wave band She Wants Revenge, has his hands all over some chick’s panties. Okay, several chicks’ panties, to be precise. Apparently, this is what some Rock Gawds do in their spare time. Um, you know, prep merchandise…
Holy War The Muslim Mafia: In the article “The Chosen One” (Joe Watson, March 2), Deedra Abboud, who converted to Islam, fails to say why she believes and accepts as factual the Koran’s claims, such as: Non-Muslims are friends of Satan and enemies of God, the numerous (ad nauseam) commands…
Gabe Cruz was pumped as he left work at 3 a.m. on the morning of March 3, 2005, a Thursday. Gabe had put in a long shift as a “bar back” at Graham Central Station, a popular Tempe establishment. He’d hustled all night, cleaning tables and stocking the bar at…
The Bird’s nesting better at night knowing that, while local politicians wrangle over how and why to secure the Arizona-Mexico border, someone’s keeping an eye on the opportunistic bums who’ve taken policing the border into their own hands. In fact, Democratic state Representative Kyrsten Sinema has done more than spy…
You’d think that the great real estate boom engulfing the Phoenix metropolitan area would bypass the dusty, decrepit town of Gila Bend. The main drag bisecting this wayside of about 2,000 folks 60 miles southwest of downtown Phoenix is littered with crumbling commercial buildings, abandoned motor inns, half a dozen…
The Candidate Throw the rascals out: I just saw your article, and I enjoyed your unique perspective (“Load of Crappioppoli,” The Bird, Robrt L. Pela, March 2). I’m glad there is a paper in Phoenix that gives a different point of view and doesn’t just march in lockstep with the…
The only thing The Bird hates more than a bag of seeds and stems (see the recent column on bong laws, dude) is a bag of hot air. Which’s why it loves politicians so much. Especially ones who cultivate the appearance of getting all puffed up about the deep injustices…
The City of Phoenix’s $878 million bond election, early voting in which is already under way, comes down to one issue: trust. Do you believe bond proponents’ pitch trumpeted by Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon that the bonds can be sold “with no new taxes”? Or do you think it’s impossible…
A high-pitched cackle and a black strip of thong. That’s what DJ Lady Tribe and I hear and see from the back door of downtown’s Brickhouse Theater, as the lez-and-het-happy Milla Jovovich bum-rushes us, her glutes suddenly shimmering in the streetlight before she covers them up and bounces back to…
Coyotes Ugly Filling a need: It’s amazing how the Phoenix press, except for New Times, mostly misses the point of what’s going on. The Arizona Republic and local TV seldom try to get beyond what’s easy to report. I’m speaking of how there’s so much more to the Phoenix Coyotes’…
One Sunday evening in February, Deedra Abboud serves dinner at her north Phoenix home. The first course is lentil soup and lamb, followed by a dish of pickles, carrots and olives. Falafel, hummus, crab samboosa, cucumber sauce. And then, pot roast and mashed potatoes. You can take the girl out…
Dennis DeConcini was always a centrist Democrat, a “Pinto Democrat” as they used to be called here, but like many moderates in the party, he still felt a deep fondness for the intellectual and moral champions of the liberal cause. One such man was Phoenix attorney John Frank, among other…
The Bird likes nothing better than watching what Hollywood does with real-life catastrophes and miscreants. Whether it’s softly lighted and eyelinered queer cowboys (Brokeback Mountain, my feathered ass!) or desert island plane crashes peopled by a bevy of sexy supermodel survivors (this taloned scribbler isn’t too proud to admit that…
The Colorado City Marshal’s Office is in a state of insurrection. And nobody in authority — from Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano on down — seems to give a damn. As the leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Prophet Warren Jeffs exerts absolute control over the…
“Damn, Kreme, peep all the chicas calientes and fly papis in line to get into Coach & Willie’s,” spits the still-switch-hittin’ Shakira of the PHX, a.k.a. the Jettster. “I’m goin’ home with something fine tonight, for real.” “Yeah, Pan Dulce pulls in more brown-skinned eye candy than a Daddy Yankee…
Critic Critiqued Unwanted guilt trip: I love New Times. I believe there are many imitations of it in the Valley, but few come close. It’s very prevalent in my life. My work advertises in it. I find out what is going on nightly because of it. My friends are in…
Gary Sedlacek is awakened by someone pounding on a side door to his home in downtown Phoenix’s historic Coronado District. It’s about 5:30 on a dark, drizzly morning, February 19, 2005. At the door is Shawn Drake, Sedlacek’s 29-year-old neighbor from a few doors down on North Richland Street. Drake…
“You know, when I get high, I always get horny for white women,” Tommy Chong told The Bird just last week. Yes, that Tommy Chong, of Cheech and Chong fame. This winged wordsmith had been having difficulties lately at local head shops, so it decided to give the world’s most…
The Phoenix Coyotes betting scandal that has ensnared hockey legend and Coyotes minority owner Wayne Gretzky and his movie actress wife is just the latest in a series of financial shenanigans linked to the team’s ownership. The Coyotes’ financial success has always been a huge gamble for the franchise’s majority…
